It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
