If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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