with your own penis?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
