How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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