yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
