i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
