i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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