So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
