Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
