Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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