So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
