There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
