Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
