She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
