Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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