Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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