I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
