It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
