If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
