omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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