That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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