if you like me you must not know who I am
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
