should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
