Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
