Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
