No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
