he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This baby is an asshole
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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