How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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