he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Randomize
