State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
