I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
