Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
