I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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