I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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