I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
