Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
