like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize