In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
