i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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