I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
