it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
