this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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