Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
BRING THE BAGELS
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
