the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
