Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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