Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Still dying that you shit outside
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
