It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
