I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
