And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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