Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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