I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
