He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
