the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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