Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
