my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
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I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
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Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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