But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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