3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
