I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize