trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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