He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
