What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
